As a Tibetan whose childhood was in a nomad and surrounded by devoted Buddhist believers. I became a Buddhist naturally. I did not even think of what I really believed at that time. Until I have graduated from high school and went to a university in big city for BA and MA. I remember so clearly that everyone in the school was so curious about me and my uncle with robe. They were asking questions which made me understood that we are very different. That was a very new environment for me which made me to explore my belief and identity. Even though that was a hard journey but when I look back now that was a meaningful time. I became very proud of being who I am after that. I have learned to look into Buddhism objectively and the more I explore the more I respect and cherish my belief.
Yet that was just a start. The journey of Buddhist practice is another challenge I face. I did not know what kind of motivation I should take for practice at that time. I am really not quite sure what I was thinking but I am sure I did not take the practice inwardly. I treat Buddhist practice and learning like other worldly knowledge. I intended to get something from what I do. That was the reason I started to focus more on intellectual learning. When I found I am not becoming a better person still. I found I was kinder actually when I was younger. Then I realize if we do not take the Buddhist teachings into heart and make changes within ourselves. We are just wasting our time and deceiving ourselves. This is the insight I just found from my experiences after long journey. I hope It is not too late now.